And now for something completely different, via Daniel Hearn at the Spaight Street Syndicate.
The World According to Dash
If you’re like me, time always seems to run short when you’re prepping for the first regatta of the season. So, when nature calls, “ain’t nobody got time for dat.” Well, fret no more! Just get yourself a combo rolling work bench/changing station, like my Pappy’s, and do what I do. Drop that deuce right in your pants. Faster than a Struble start, you’ll be back at it before your runner even cools. Critical Hack–Make sure your sanitation engineer clears the bench of any carbon fiber dust. That can be very unpleasant on a fella’s bum.
In 1878, Harper’s Bazaar Magazine recognized Madison’s prominence in the sport in an article with a now famous engraving that depicts ice yachts and the scenic isthmus. We are still here.
The Four Lakes Ice Yacht Club elections were held Wednesday evening, and our new officers represent every fleet in the club. Daniel Hearn, who sails a DN, C Skeeter, Nite, and Renegade, is our new Commodore. Nite sailor Lars Barber is our new Vice Commodore. Treasurer Jerry Simon will serve another year along with myself as Secretary.
The club extends much gratitude to the previous Commodore Don Anderson and Vice Commodore Tim McCormick for their service.
Crazy Kenny’s Closeout Corall Via Daniel Hearn:
Merchandise was flying out the door this weekend at the Past Champions Iceboat Shop. A special invitation was needed from Crazy Kenny himself to gain access to the Closeout Coral, which is hidden behind a secret doorway cleverly disguised with hanging drop cloths. Once inside, new Michigan-based ice sailor, Tim Bellard remarked, “With all this red and white everywhere, I kept looking for the fat man in the velour suit. He never showed, but Christmas definitely came early.” Bellard took off with a 24 foot Sitka Spruce Skeeter wing mast that he purchased for a buddy who had an “unfortunate incident” last year. And Crazy Kenny even threw a sail into the deal and free delivery to the top of Tim’s trailer. Several other unsavory characters from the 4LIYC were around the shop witnessing the selling frenzy, but none was willing to publicly comment. “Maybe if we just stand here next to Kenny acting like nothing is going on, then no one will ask any questions,” suggested Sage PK. Due to their resounding silence, they must have all agreed.
Not to be outdone, Wonky Donny’s Discount Emporium across town was also dealing. He was all out of 10-speed bikes to entice Bellard to close a deal, but he was still able to send him out the door with a classic 4LIYC, red and white Renegade. Rumor has it that said Renegade was also loaded on the 12 ft. utility trailer, including mast and plank, directly adjacent to the Skeeter mast. Fearing that his insurance provider might yank his liability policy, Bellard requested that no pictures be taken of the impressively loaded vehicle. As yet, there have been no reports of flying ice boats on the east bound corridor of I-94, so all equipment must now be safely in their new home somewhere in the hand.
The Swedish company Sail Racing has released its latest Black Ice campaign, incorporating Skeeter class iceboats to market their technical clothing. Daniel Hearn’s C Skeeter, to be specific. Pat Heppert also makes an appearance in his C Skeeter on their website video.
Daniel Hearn’s mind wanders over to Ikea iceboat mast section… Spaight St. Archives
Ikea Masts
Ingvar Kamprad built a $40 billion per year enterprise selling furniture in boxes. His future took shape when he realized success depended on the simplest, most cost-efficient distribution from factory to customer. The founder of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, figured out he didn’t even have to make anything to become the richest man in the world (never mind the divorce). He just had to have the best distribution system anywhere.
I’m sure our first billion is showing up in the offshore shell company bank account as I type, now that word is out that you can buy a C-Skeeter mast in a box. If you’re looking for my name in the Pandora Papers, however, don’t bother. The Corp will eventually trace to my wife’s name. She’s the smart one in the family!
Crazy Kenny’s Closeout Corall
