Crazy Kenny’s Closeout Corall Via Daniel Hearn:
Merchandise was flying out the door this weekend at the Past Champions Iceboat Shop. A special invitation was needed from Crazy Kenny himself to gain access to the Closeout Coral, which is hidden behind a secret doorway cleverly disguised with hanging drop cloths. Once inside, new Michigan-based ice sailor, Tim Bellard remarked, “With all this red and white everywhere, I kept looking for the fat man in the velour suit. He never showed, but Christmas definitely came early.” Bellard took off with a 24 foot Sitka Spruce Skeeter wing mast that he purchased for a buddy who had an “unfortunate incident” last year. And Crazy Kenny even threw a sail into the deal and free delivery to the top of Tim’s trailer. Several other unsavory characters from the 4LIYC were around the shop witnessing the selling frenzy, but none was willing to publicly comment. “Maybe if we just stand here next to Kenny acting like nothing is going on, then no one will ask any questions,” suggested Sage PK. Due to their resounding silence, they must have all agreed.
Not to be outdone, Wonky Donny’s Discount Emporium across town was also dealing. He was all out of 10-speed bikes to entice Bellard to close a deal, but he was still able to send him out the door with a classic 4LIYC, red and white Renegade. Rumor has it that said Renegade was also loaded on the 12 ft. utility trailer, including mast and plank, directly adjacent to the Skeeter mast. Fearing that his insurance provider might yank his liability policy, Bellard requested that no pictures be taken of the impressively loaded vehicle. As yet, there have been no reports of flying ice boats on the east bound corridor of I-94, so all equipment must now be safely in their new home somewhere in the hand.
Pat Heppert’s seeing double and working like a madman up in MN to get ready for the season.
Best ISA rule ever: “ 5.4 Each yacht shall carry on both sides of her hull a name, of the owner’s selection, in letters not less than 3” high, in a color contrasting to that of the hull side.” It’s an official rule, not a suggestion. But how do you go about picking a name? A proper yacht would bear the name of the owner’s spouse (like the Mary B), but these modern ice missiles are far from proper yachts, I don’t think they even float. Some pick a clever play on words relating to the cold winter (Icicle, Ice Scream, Frozen Asset). Others incorporate the boat design name (Nite Flight, Good Nite, Whizz kid, Wizzard, Cheese Whizz). Some have admitted their personality in their boat name (Instigator, Notorious, Rebel). Still others name it after their favorite things in life (see Ken Kreider).
So what’s with this total lack of creativity to pick a new name for the new boat. It turns out, I don’t have a choice anymore. A while ago, when in high school, I was sailing a DN that was super fun, but when it hit a snow drift, it seemed to either just stop, or hike up, or get kind of airborne. Meanwhile, Dad was right next me in his 700 lb Class E skeeter, and he would go right through the drift which would just absolutely explode into a spectacular white cloud of powder, and keep rumbling down the ice without any loss of speed.
So when we built my Renegade a couple years later, we had to pick a name. I thought “Drifter” because I wanted to blast through snow drifts just like Dad. Fast forward a few decades and the name kind of stuck. Every winter it seems like I am approached by multiple people who don’t really know my name, but instead ask me “Are you the Drifter?”. So I have finally come to terms with the fact that indeed I have no choice, it turns out that I am the Drifter.
Daniel Hearn’s mind wanders over to Ikea iceboat mast section… Spaight St. Archives
Ikea Masts
Ingvar Kamprad built a $40 billion per year enterprise selling furniture in boxes. His future took shape when he realized success depended on the simplest, most cost-efficient distribution from factory to customer. The founder of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, figured out he didn’t even have to make anything to become the richest man in the world (never mind the divorce). He just had to have the best distribution system anywhere.
I’m sure our first billion is showing up in the offshore shell company bank account as I type, now that word is out that you can buy a C-Skeeter mast in a box. If you’re looking for my name in the Pandora Papers, however, don’t bother. The Corp will eventually trace to my wife’s name. She’s the smart one in the family!
“Two (or insert any number) are just as easy to build as one” has to be one of the top ten commandments of iceboating building. Daniel Hearn checks in with his latest update. Spaight Street Syndicate Archives
Inside Overlap
When I’m racing catamarans, I like to amuse myself by coming into the starboard gate on port tack. More often than not, some cowboy will come charging in barking STARBOARD!, with gotcha-rage in their eyes, unaware that he has no rights. Makes me laugh every time.
In my basement shop, I am also currently exercising my inside overlap rights. My entitlement is not guaranteed by any rule book, but my wife still let’s me get away with it. She’s been a really good sport about it, but I can tell she’s not amused. I’m afraid by the time first ice comes, my penance will be along the lines of a hooker leaving a confessional. But it will be worth it!
Just about ready for top skins on both the new C-Skeeter and the fixed wing boat.
Daniel Hearn
“To Bodge (v), to make or repair hastily, to MacGyver”
Spaight St. Syndicate
The Spaight Street Syndicate expands its footprint. Via Daniel Hearn:
A sure sign that you’re a major dork is when certain tools tickle your loins. Guilty. But come on, check out this bad girl! If you’re like me, you’ve been lusting after the perfect re-saw machine since you skinnied your first board. Miss August, Tilly Tannewitz, boasts a 5 horsepower motor that will rip your hardwood quicker than a sailor draining a bottle of rum. She insists that Sitka is for sissy saws, but she doesn’t judge, so she’ll still entertain wuss wood. Touch her button and she slowly winds up until she’s a screaming mad woman just daring you to test her metal. With a 1″ carbide-toothed blade, she’s not slowin’ down for nobody. And if you think you need a rounded fence to keep her tracking down the center, forget about it! Set your thickness, and she’s as straight and true as they come.
Tilly is a relatively new addition to the Bodgery, a community shop that I joined just before COVID. Until now, I’ve never found an economical resource for re-sawing lumber. By the time I would pay a set-up fee and then the hourly rate for cutting at a professional shop, it would still be cheaper to waste a lot of wood in the planer. At $12 per board foot, I just couldn’t do it. So, on my current projects, I ripped the boards to 4″ width, then re-sawed, then planned, then glued the boards back together to get the widths I needed. Material efficient, but labor intensive. Tilly can resaw up to 13″ of hardwood, barely breaking a sweat. I’ve completed my Tilly training, so if you need something re-sawn for your next iceboat build, feel free to hit me up.
A few weeks ago, fellow C Skeeter builder Pat Heppert came to Madison to pick up some high-tech foam to build C Class Skeeter masts. The day started in the original compact basement workshop of the Spaight Street Syndicate, then over to the Bodgery to cut the foam, and then finished at the SSS Launchpad shop.
Pat Heppert points the way to enough material for 7 C Class Skeeter masts.
Pat meets Tilly.
Tilly’s got bite.
Later that same day, Pat explains his new traveler system to Jerry Simon.
Crazy Kenny’s Closeout Corall
